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Overcoming Fear and Rejection
What Are You So Afraid of?One of the biggest obstacles to achieving success in any area of life is fear. Although fear is useful it often stops us from moving forward and experiencing growth in our lives. Fear stops us from achieving our goals! It's true that fear has a very useful purpose in our lives as it stops us from impulsively putting our health at risk or even endangering our lives. However, fear is often irrational. You have to differentiate between inbuilt sensible fears and irrational phobias. For example feeling fear in the presence of a hungry lion is very rational but being afraid of talking to a woman is not! When you are faced with a hungry lion your life is most definitely in danger and the fear you feel is warranted. The added adrenaline that fear pumps through your body may just help to save your life! However, the fear of approaching a woman often evokes the same chemical reactions in the mind and body but it is obvious that the situations are completely different. The only difference between a man who can successfully approach a woman and you is that the successful guy does not attach his self-worth or self-esteem on the outcome of his approach. It's simple - if you don't really care about the result and understand that if a woman rejects you she is just not interested at that moment and it is in no way a reflection of you (because she doesn't even know you and women don't go for men because of their looks) then your fear disappears. The more you approach women and practice an attitude of detachment from the result the less fear you will feel! You must learn to block these thoughts until you develop an attitude of detachment! Women get approached many times when they are out socialising! It is a common occurrence for them and, in fact, it is a bit of a nuisance. Imagine being asked the time every 5 minutes when you just want to chat with your buddies. Do you think that would start to annoy you after awhile? All women have developed defence mechanisms to cope with guys approaching them. Many women create an alter ego that takes the form of a bitch because they realised a long time ago that it pushes guys away very with the least effort in the quickest time! Most of the time, when a girl's friend’s say, 'She's not a bitch, she is just shy,' they really do mean it. She's also got that invisible screening process to hunt down potential timewasters; the men who don't tick all her boxes and will not make the grade. The take-away from this is that you shouldn't take it personally if a woman rejects you. It's the equivalent of taking it personally when you don't get a job even though you never even sat an interview because you never got past the screening process. You know that you are good enough for the job! So perhaps your presentation just needs a bit of work. Not an issue. If a girl does not reply and you don’t know if you are even making sense, it doesn’t do any harm to just start a random conversation about absolutely anything. |
